#RelationshipGoals: My thoughts
Last night I bawled like a baby. The reason why is that I watched a worship message from Transformation Church that is entitled, "Before the person: Relationship Goals (Part 1)". I urge you dear friends, even if you are not a christian, this message will tug your heartstrings or maybe even break your heart for its realness. Its powerful words will crush you, in a good way, because you will be able to relate to it, no matter where you're coming from.
The words that struck me were, "It is God's purpose for you to be in a relationship" and "It is not good for man to be alone." My gosh this made such an impact to me that I cried so much at 2 in the morning, bawling my eyes out, without my family noticing of course because definitely it will be noisy that early in the morning. I always had a talent of people not knowing I cried, I keep things to myself most of the time. Which is all the reason why this message was for an introvert like me.
I've always been with myself ever since. I had a boyfriend in high school and it's the only standard of a relationship I could ever compare if I am in like a situationship with a guy because that is the only real commitment I had. Though it was only 6 months, after that I was so devastated because it seems like I could never find a guy to replace him. Not knowing that this season of singleness that I am in, is actually preparing me for a much greater blessing, all I have to do is do God's purpose for me and chill.
I see many of my peers get into long term commitments and getting married and I'm like, why can't I have that? Why am I still single? I'm happy for them don't get me wrong. But as for me, at one point I was accepting my fate saying being single is better and that I can live with it until I grow old. But I was lying to myself honestly. Two is better than one, because when the other one falls, the other will be able to help him/ her up - this is in the Bible. I want to be in a relationship, I just don't know what kind of relationship I want to be in. And this worship message depicts that we should set standards and goals even in relationships because that is what God wants us to do, not what the world tells us to do. Sure the world has its standards too, but God's standards are by far the best. You know why? Because His Word lasts forever.
For the longest time I was wired to be single. I have to be honest, my parents constantly discourage me to get into a relationship in fear it might worsen my condition of anxiety and depression. My mom, though I love her so much, I am frustrated by the fact that she adores people who are single and constantly regrets being married to my dad (who by the way is the kindest and most hardworking dad ever). They encourage me to be single as possible because they're afraid I will repeat their mistakes (marriage) and they say they want what's best for me. I've always been a people pleaser and because of that I follow what they advise me everytime. But what about what I want or what God wants for me? He wants me to be in a relationship. It might not be now, but definitely in the future. And I have to prepare for it and stay ready when that time comes.
Although every marriage is different, my parents' relationship with each other is also unique. They consider each other as best friends and get on each other's nerves all the time, but they constantly choose to sacrifice for the sake of the other all the time as well. I want that. Though it will be difficult, I want to have that #RelationshipGoals as my parents too. They always tell me that a lover/ partner will just naturally find me. I'll hold on to that advice even if it's taking this long because it's from both my heroes. I'll definitely chill for now and let life run its course, while serving God's purpose. Love God, love people and love yourself. I will stick to this plan, before I ever meet the right person.